mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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