Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
