She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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