erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
