I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
