In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize