dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
