Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
