You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
