I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
