ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
smell my finger.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
