It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
