Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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