I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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