i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
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