you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize