my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
