You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
