just come out here and I will go home with you...
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
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