Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
