he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
