What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
pop tarts are not kleenex
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
