So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i think my mom watched the whole time
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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