He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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