OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
