I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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