they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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