does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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