God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Randomize