Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
