i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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