Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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