I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
