His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
