So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
