Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
They have beer where we have blood.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
