i permit you to call me
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Randomize
