Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
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