So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
