nut hugger
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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