She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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