Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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