you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
