with your own penis?
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
