He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
foreskin is a definite game changer
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
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