the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
