I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
