How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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