But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
