So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
