Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize