I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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