im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
You are the jesus of drinking
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
