My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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