Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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