so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
