you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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