Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
