just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
