You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
