this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I cut my penus on the lid.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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