so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Randomize