Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
