I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Randomize
