i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Randomize
