So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
