somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
