Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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