So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
BRING THE BAGELS
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
