I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
