Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I just want nice things and good sex
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