did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
