You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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