i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
