who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
