did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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