Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
