Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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