he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
