I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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