Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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