cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
