if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
