I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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