It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize