All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
You were trust falling into bushes
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
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