I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
